Looking back 2011

One day to go before 1st of January 2012, and I think I want to reminiscing my 2011 year. On one hand, I feel like this year is too freaking fast. I haven’t done anything significant! But on the other hand, I know that’s not true. People around me do stuff, and I just stand there do nothing. Besides, I might haven’t done anything significant, but I DO experience something more than significant.

First, after a long while, I finally able to rest my heart to someone I can trust entirely. Entirely. Which is since June ’11. My best friend, my brother, my soon-to-be husband and imam. Who would’ve thought that the song ‘Lucky’ from Jason Mraz will ever happen to me? I always told my self that I know I only can end up with a guy whose a friend before finally attach himself to me–remembering how cynical I am to guy whom I know has a special interest towards me–who knows my sarcastic language, my sometimes-cursing, my ignoring ability, my insensitive behavior, and still can see beyond that, and know that I’m special. Because, hey, that’s just my flaws. It really doesn’t mean I’m JUST that. And if he reads this, I know he can add much more flaws than I just mention. But I still love you, tho.

That’s one, relationship-wise.

Second, career-wise, I drop my teaching job. Right at the end of 1st semester. Finally. Remembering I ever post this. Not nice, I know. Once again, I quit what-so-called career. I thought it’s going to be my last resort. But apparently it’s not. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. According to my last post on my former-blog, I stated that teaching is a fun job. It was. I men it is! But with juggling with my translating job, it made me quite stressed up. I’m not my fiancee whose able to juggling between teaching in senior high and university, but also as wedding photographer! Passion. That’s it. I need passion. I mean, I need long lasting passion. That teaching job? The fire was slowly dimmed along the years. No fuel to re-light it again. I don’t even know what’s the fuel. Besides, I feel like I’m a fraud. I teach graphic design, but my design knowledge is stagnant. It’s not moving forward because I don’t practice it elsewhere. If anything, it’s moving backward *face palm* How can I teach something good if I don’t get further knowledge about it? Err… ever try Google? Yes, I tried Google thank you very much! Not much of a help since I don’t even know what I’m looking for. How much more dumb I can be?

I didn’t say good bye to my students. I didn’t know how to do it. I’m suck at it. And just walk-by without saying a word to them not making it better. So kids, if you’re reading this, keep doing the great job on design. I’m proud of you all. Had a wonderful experience teaching you all. Hope you’ll get a better and cooler teacher than me :)

Third, dream-wise. Salt & Cocoa. I still not yet have the guts to start this. I don’t even know how to start it. But I know that I do translating as a carrier to this. Not a single night I go to sleep without thinking anything related to Salt & Cocoa. Either the signature cake, the concept, will it be only online cake shop, will it ever be offline store, altogether with cafe and pasta specialty? Anything. This all is like a lullaby to me. But also kinda make me panick. I’m running out of time. If I don’t start immediately, the competitors will be increasing in no time. And after panicking, I fall asleep. It happens almost every night. I’m not saying that I’m only a dreamer, but my lack of courage really got in the way. What if the customer ask something I can’t make? What if I can’t fulfill the customer’s request? What if my price is too expensivo? What if… what if…? I hate me.

What else? Not much than that. Those three things above is main event of 2011.

Next year, this will happen:

• Get married
• Establish Salt & Cocoa

Amien…

Happy New Year everyone! Thank’s for visiting my blog :)